Total Commitment

Total Commitment

All my successes, achievements, and the person that I am becoming are based upon one solid foundation: relationship. The greater the relationship the greater the benefits. We have unlimited potential that needs to be nurtured and developed but how will this happen? I believe the answer is, 'meaningful and fruitful relationships'.

Here are the fundamental principles to a successful relationship. Adhering to them brought me peace, fruitfulness, joy, and an abundance of fun. Following them will do the same for you.

TTrust and honesty
OOpenness
TTeamwork
AApology and forgiveness
LLove
CCommunication
OObedience and submission
MManagement skills
MManaging change
IInvestment appraisal
TTraining and development
MMutual goals
EEncouragement
NNeed for discipline
TTolerance and understanding

Total commitment

Let me illustrate total commitment by telling you a story that was shared with me. A chicken and a pig came together to hold a meeting. Soon after the meeting started, the chicken said to the pig, "Mr Pig, our farmer has been good to us over the years, and I feel that it would be a great idea if we made him breakfast this morning." "I think you are absolutely right Chick, our farmer has been good to us, what should we cook?" Mr Pig replied. "I will provide the eggs and you will provide the bacon", replied Chick.

After much consideration, Mr Pig said, "For you it's a contribution, but for me it’s a sacrifice." Some people are like the chicken, only able to give a part of themselves, while others are like Mr Pig, giving everything of themselves to keep the relationship together. Be totally committed to your relationship. Become like Mr Pig.

Trust and honesty

By telling lies you run the risk of destroying what you have spent years to build. Many relationships have been destroyed because of lack of trust, deception, and dishonesty. Do not go the way of fools. Leave dishonesty behind and you will keep your relationship together.

Openness

Society encourages us to become independent by separation and keeping things to ourselves, even if it means our lives are destroyed. Many of us put up a false or superficial appearance to hide what we are going through. Be open and don't hide behind a mask, be yourself and let your true colours be seen. By hiding who you are, you only hurt yourself and live a lie.

Teamwork

I see my relationship with my wife as a major business. It is extremely sad to see so many families operate as individuals rather than a team. If more families operated as teams, there would be more love, joy, and peace in the home. Work together as a team, operate as a business, and live as a family.

Apology and forgiveness

If you are wrong apologise. If you are hurt forgive. This area is probably the most difficult and consequently it is the most destructive area in any relationship. If you cannot apologise or forgive it is extremely difficult to experience true love, joy, and peace in your relationship.

Love

Unconditional sacrificial love is by far the most important aspect of the list above. Do your very best to keep this type of love flowing in your relationship: Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast. Love is not proud. Love is not rude. Love is not self-seeking. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love never fails. Let love continue.

Communication

Spend quality time listening to each other. After all, communication is an essential key to a successful relationship. Let no unwholesome or corrupt communication come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building your relationship.

Obedience and submission

Be obedient and submissive to one another. Some men believe that it is the duty of the wives and children to submit and be obedient and because of this attitude conflict arises.

Management skills

Many of us go off in pursuit of excellence and leave our relationship in serious problems. The more effective you are in the home, the more effective you will be in the workplace. Listen to tapes, read books, watch videos, and attend seminars to improve your relationship.

Managing change

The home is a place of continuous change, births, deaths, adolescence, accidents, sickness, fights, arguments and more. Learn to adapt to those events in your relationship that you have no control over and take control over those events that you can.

Investment appraisal

It is required that stewards give an account of their stewardship. If you owned £10 million pounds, wouldn't you invest it and from time to time do an appraisal? Always review how well your relationship is doing.

Training and development

"Train your children in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not turn from it", said King Solomon. Some parents are so busy that they leave all the training to the schools, churches, TV and others. A survey conducted showed that fathers spent on average five minutes a week with their children. Since 1985 I have made it my main duty to meet with my children every morning, Monday to Friday from 7:15am to 8:00am. Listen to the words of Kuan Tzu, 3rd Century BC: "When planning for a year, sow corn, when planning for a decade, plant trees, when planning for a lifetime, educate and train."

Mutual goals

A relationship without goals is like a ship without a rudder, wandering aimlessly from place to place in distress. Goals are the steering device that gives you direction and keeps you on course. They will motivate and inspire you to action and awaken you to the talents and aspirations of each other. They will lead you into the land of prosperity, power and success and make your relationship a tower of strength. Mutual goals will create an air of excitement. Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for a relationship to dwell together in unity and pursue excellence together.

Encouragement

Encouragement will impart "courage" build confidence and make a person as bold as a lion. "The tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A great forest can be set on fire by one tiny spark. And the tongue is a flame of fire." The tongue also is like a small fire that can destroy the whole relationship. The tongue of some cannot be tamed, it is unruly and full of deadly poison. I believe that the tongue is the major cause of most relationship challenges.

Need for discipline

Discipline is a state or order based upon submission to rules and authority. Every professional organisation, business or Government has operational rules. Even God has rules and if you break them, you pay the price. A family that does not have rules, is like a city that is broken down and without walls. Could you imagine what your community would be like if there were no order, police, or Government? You can? Some relationships are like that.

Tolerance and understanding

Every relationship will undergo great challenges and endure adverse environmental conditions. Because many of us are not patient and understanding, serious conflicts arise. Be patient and willing to listen to one another. Do not give your answer before you understand the question. Be quick to listen, slow to talk and slow to anger.

I have discovered from an early age that the secret of living is giving and the seed I sow I will reap. The more I give to the relationship the more I get out. Therefore, I say unto you give and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.

Errol A Williams

 

About The Author

Errol A Williams

I am an International Management Trainer with over 36 years’ experience. I have trained thousands of directors, managers, leaders, supervisors, and unemployed people. My passion is to coach one million students to unleash their unlimited potential through personal growth. I was co-founder and Executive Chairman for one of Europe’s largest multi-million pound community complexes, launched by HRH the Prince of Wales in 1988. For over 25 years I have visited, counselled, and ran training courses for UK prisoners. Currently I am a Senior Pastor and Regional Overseer who sits on the National Executive Board for the Church of God of Prophecy UK Trust. I have taught Systematic Theology for over ten years. I am married and have six children and six grandchildren. I am the author of “Pursuing Excellence”, “The Temptation Trap”, “Sowing For A Blessing”, “TIPS For Dealing With Difficult Conversations” and “Building A Dream”. During the 2010 general election I stood as a Parliamentary Candidate. I am a professional photographer, graphics designer, virtual services provider, and web developer. My hobbies include chess, squash, backgammon, and domino. errol@errolwilliams.org (My Profile)

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